Has sex become boring for you?

It’s time to bring the zing back into your bedroom activities – let’s start with a few basics.

It happens to many couples. After a few years have passed, they begin to experience a sense of ennui about their sex life. Some couples are so bored that they seek other sexual partners, or avoid having sex with each other altogether. This is an unhappy state of affairs, but it can be set right with a few changes.

Here’s how to have better sex and a more satisfying relationship:

1 Reconnect. Often, busy schedules and an emotional disconnect leads to distance and boredom. Over time, the frequency of sex tapers off! But don’t panic just yet – you just need to find the connection that first bound the two of you. Go the movies, take a class together, go hiking or just spend the day shopping and trying out new restaurants like you used to. When you reconnect and find that laughter and each other’s company puts you in a good mood, you are just a few steps away from regaining your sexual appetite for each other.

2 Make time to have sex. It can happen that you really wish to have sex but there is never enough time to do so. The two of you might have conflicting schedules, and you end up seeing each other only on the weekends. Or you may be too tired to do anything in bed except curl up and go to sleep. The thing about sex is, if you don’t have it often enough you might not miss it much, and that spells the end of your sexual relationship. So make time at least once a week – maybe early in the morning, or having a shower together before work – to have sex.

3 Explore each other more. Doing the same things in bed over and over again can kill your excitement. The same position, the same sequence of events, the inevitable climax after much thrusting…it can become completely robotic and unsexy. In fact, sex doesn’t have to be about penetration and orgasms at all. Increase your foreplay, or just lie in bed exploring each other’s bodies and talking. Or put on some music and dance in your living room, or walk around the house naked as if it’s the most normal thing in the world. Looking at each other’s naked bodies is as sensual as touching each other.

4 Be more daring – it’s worth it. If you’re bored with your sex life, it means that you’ve been with your partner for a while. And this means that you both are now secure enough about the relationship to try new things. Most couples fall into a routine of passivity: she lies down on her back, he lies down on top of her, thrust-thrust, done. Unshackle your sex life from the dreaded ‘same old same old’ curse. You could try a new position to spice things up. Or assume fictional identities and have sex with each other as if you are two strangers having sex after a first date. And do introduce lubes and vibrators in the mix.