The case for dotted condoms and flagging sex lives

If you’re suffering from ennui in the bedroom, it’s time to try a simple trick between the sheets – get a textured condom.

Have you noted a rather distressing fact about your bedroom antics lately? The two of you used to have earth-shattering sex; now it has become a matter of course that you don’t much look forward to. You wonder where the fire that stoked your passion has gone, and you miss it intensely.

If the fireworks are missing in the bedroom…

Let’s face it – sex can become monotonous after a while. It’s not like you love your partner any less or find them less attractive. It’s just that you’re probably doing the exact same thing every time the two of you get between the sheets, so you know what to anticipate. When you already know what’s coming, you’re less likely to enjoy the experience. The same applies to your partner.

Many couples experiment in the bedroom to keep the spark alive. You can too, but start small. Instead of going for a new position, why not add a fun, spicy element to the act itself? You can do this just by trying a dotted condom instead of your usual plain one. A dotted or ribbed condom is classified as a ‘textured’ condom that creates new sensations and added pleasure for both partners. It will help you experience new feelings and sensations through added friction, while he will respond faster to you if you show more excitement in the lovemaking. Some textured condoms are designed to give pleasure to both partners simultaneously.

How textured condoms work

The textured condom may either be ribbed or dotted. A ribbed condom has special ridges placed at strategic points outside the condom. They create new and pleasant sensations inside the vaginal canal upon thrusting, thus bringing a different climax to the woman. The feeling is very different from a standard issue condom which does not feel any different from the sensation of a penis. In contrast, a ribbed condom gives a very different sensation and ups the ante on sexual tension and climax.

Meanwhile, a dotted condom has raised dots on the outside of the condom to provide extra stimulation during sex. It is helpful for women who do not normally climax via peno-vaginal sex. The dotted condom is primarily intended to give added pleasure to the woman, and to evoke a deeper response from the man when the woman enjoys the sensations.

A little tweaking goes a long way

A ribbed or dotted condom can go a long way in ensuring that your sex life is back on track where it used to be. But it is not a magic trick that will work forever – you will still need to be emotionally and physically invested in the relationship to keep the spark alive and burning. You can try new positions and other types of condoms as well, to keep the fire from flagging again.

3 best oral sex positions for her

Did you think there was only one way to give her oral? Incorporate oral into other sex positions to drive her wild.

Women respond differently to sex than men do. They cannot be aroused as quickly as men, and even after arousal, they may not be fully prepared for penetration. It takes a fair bit of foreplay to get a woman in the mood for sex. A great foreplay technique is oral sex.

Most men give woman oral sex while the woman lies down on her back and the man goes down on top of her. There are other ways to give her oral sex, and they increase her pleasure enough to make her orgasm explosively. We list 3 best oral sex positions for your woman:

1 Doggy adds a twist. As a man, you enjoy the doggy style sex position. It gives you greater penetration and a superb view of your woman’s body. But have you considered giving her a fun surprise before you get down to it? As she takes position on her hands and knees, you do the same behind her. Now start pleasuring her with your lips and tongue, while using a hand to stimulate her clitoris. She will soon start moaning and trembling – slip your erect penis inside her and give her the works!

2 Sit on his face. We don’t mean that the woman sits on the man’s face. This sex position is great for women who are athletic and who can hold their weight without support. As the man lies flat on his back, the woman hovers her clitoris and vaginal region over his face. Now he starts licking and kissing her down there, while she moves back and forth or dips to supplement his efforts. The woman can hold on to the bedstead or place pillows under her knees to support her legs.

3 Give him a leg up. This is an exciting sex position for women who have some trouble getting aroused during foreplay. The woman sits on the edge of the bed while the man sits cross-legged on the floor. Now she props her knees on his shoulders, and lies back on her elbows. He puts his face between her legs and pleasures her – since her legs are more open, he gets more to work with. This position does not cramp his neck and he can go as slow or fast as he wants.

It is good to use flavoured lube before going down on her. Not only does lube make the experience more enjoyable for him, the woman can also feel new sensations with the lube. You can get warming, cooling and tingling lubes that drive her wild in bed. Lube also minimises chafing during penetrative sex, so that there is no pain or soreness afterward.

Which condom type are you?

There are condoms and there are condoms, but are you using the right one?

Sex is one of the most wonderful experiences that a person can share with their partner. It is pleasurable and it unites two souls during the act. Sex also improves physical and mental wellbeing, and helps a couple stay connected through life’s challenges.

But if you do it the same way, with the same moves and even wearing the same condom, sex can become really boring. You owe it to your relationship to increase the pleasure of it, to make it more enjoyable. A condom can help you in this respect.

How can a condom enhance sex?

Earlier, only the most basic condoms were available, which provided functionality without enhancement. You could just slip the sheath on to the penis and have sex. But today, there are different types of condoms, in different make and materials. Condoms today are created to not just provide protection, but also to make the experience really enjoyable.

If you or your partner (or both) feel that wearing a condom is unnecessary, think again. It protects against STIs and unwanted pregnancies. You might be sure that neither of you has any STIs, but it doesn’t hurt to be safe. Besides, you cannot be wondering if you are helping create a pregnancy instead of focussing on enjoying the sexual act!

Picking the right type of condom frees you from any worries about your sexual health. It also increases your pleasure in each other.

What’s on offer?

There are many types of condoms to choose from, based on the condom thickness, material and texture. Start by picking the right size. The condom must fit snugly, like a glove, on the erect penis. If it is too tight, it might tear during sex. If it is a size bigger, it will slip off.

Once you’ve got the right size, it is time to find the condom with the right sensation. This aspect is more important for your partner, so choose well. Look for condoms from Durex, which has a wide range of condoms such as:

Fetherlite: These are super slim condoms to give couples the feeling of skin-on-skin contact during sex. But despite their thinness, they are tough enough not to break or tear during sex.

Extra safe: These condoms are slightly thicker than others. They are great for couples who don’t know each other very well, and who would like increased protection against pregnancies or STIs/STDs. These condoms are layered with spermicide for added protection.

Real feel: Their texture is like skin, so you feel like you’re having sex without a condom.

Pleasuremax: Their ribbed and dotted texture enhance her pleasure.

Ribbed, dotted: These condoms have ribs on the surface, or raised dots, to increase her sensitivity during sex.

Warming: These condoms are coated with warming lube on the surface.

Flavoured: For better oral sex for both partners.

Delayed climax: These condoms delay orgasm so you can enjoy the act for longer.

Why do I need a condom?

A primer on a few facts to know about condom use and why a condom is essential during sex.

A condom protects you and your partner from unwanted pregnancies and the transmission of sexual infections and diseases. It acts like a barrier between the exchange of sexual fluids. Condoms like the Durex range are rigorously tested and re-tested to negate the possibility of condom tearing during sex.

Condoms are necessary for good sexual health, since they keep a clean partner safe from the STIs or STDs of an infected partner. It also gives people suffering from STIs and STDs the freedom to have sex without risking their partner’s health.

Condoms also enhance sexual pleasure. Some couples feel that the condom takes away the skin-on-skin feeling that they yearn for during sex. However, condoms from companies like Durex shatter this myth. Durex has a range of condoms that provide specific sensations during sex. They increase pleasure and closeness during sex – you will love to have protected sex when you try these condoms that offer tingling, ribbed and warming sensations, among others!

So, this is how to use a condom…

There is never a bad time to wear a condom, since it has benefits for your health and sexual life. Even if your partner is not fond of sex with condoms, gently insist on wearing one for both your sakes.

* Choose the right condom. This depends on your sensitivity to rubber or latex. Pick the condom that is most suited to your penis length and girth. A too tight or too loose condom can break or slip off during sex.

* Wear the condom correctly. Do not use your fingernails on it while wearing it, or it might tear. Roll it down on your erect penis gently till the base.

* Suspect a malfunction? Discard it. Do not wear a condom that you suspect is expired (if it’s been in your wallet too long, it’s no good) or torn. It will tear during sex and put you and your partner at risk. Start with a new condom within its expiry date.

* Even sex toys need condoms. It sounds strange, but if you use sex toys that involve insertion inside your or her body, then it needs a condom, too. Sex toys are coated with sexual fluids that can contain the virus causing several STIs and STDs. Wash the sex toys and disinfect them before use, and put a condom on them just to be sure.

* Lubricants can be used with condoms. Make sure to use a water-based lube during sex, so that the condom does not cause pain or chafing for her. Most condoms are lube-safe, but don’t use oil-based ones with latex condoms.

* Wearing two condoms is unnecessary. You cannot increase ‘security’ by wearing two condoms. In fact, both will slip or cause friction with each other, resulting in tearing. One condom worn correctly is enough.

Has sex become boring for you?

It’s time to bring the zing back into your bedroom activities – let’s start with a few basics.

It happens to many couples. After a few years have passed, they begin to experience a sense of ennui about their sex life. Some couples are so bored that they seek other sexual partners, or avoid having sex with each other altogether. This is an unhappy state of affairs, but it can be set right with a few changes.

Here’s how to have better sex and a more satisfying relationship:

1 Reconnect. Often, busy schedules and an emotional disconnect leads to distance and boredom. Over time, the frequency of sex tapers off! But don’t panic just yet – you just need to find the connection that first bound the two of you. Go the movies, take a class together, go hiking or just spend the day shopping and trying out new restaurants like you used to. When you reconnect and find that laughter and each other’s company puts you in a good mood, you are just a few steps away from regaining your sexual appetite for each other.

2 Make time to have sex. It can happen that you really wish to have sex but there is never enough time to do so. The two of you might have conflicting schedules, and you end up seeing each other only on the weekends. Or you may be too tired to do anything in bed except curl up and go to sleep. The thing about sex is, if you don’t have it often enough you might not miss it much, and that spells the end of your sexual relationship. So make time at least once a week – maybe early in the morning, or having a shower together before work – to have sex.

3 Explore each other more. Doing the same things in bed over and over again can kill your excitement. The same position, the same sequence of events, the inevitable climax after much thrusting…it can become completely robotic and unsexy. In fact, sex doesn’t have to be about penetration and orgasms at all. Increase your foreplay, or just lie in bed exploring each other’s bodies and talking. Or put on some music and dance in your living room, or walk around the house naked as if it’s the most normal thing in the world. Looking at each other’s naked bodies is as sensual as touching each other.

4 Be more daring – it’s worth it. If you’re bored with your sex life, it means that you’ve been with your partner for a while. And this means that you both are now secure enough about the relationship to try new things. Most couples fall into a routine of passivity: she lies down on her back, he lies down on top of her, thrust-thrust, done. Unshackle your sex life from the dreaded ‘same old same old’ curse. You could try a new position to spice things up. Or assume fictional identities and have sex with each other as if you are two strangers having sex after a first date. And do introduce lubes and vibrators in the mix. 

5 easy sex poses for newbies

We explain the 5 sex positions that those new to sex can try.

Sex is a daunting prospect for those who are new at it. But your inexperience also adds a fun element – everything you experience feels exciting and sensual. You and your partner can find your common rhythm and favourite pose as you go along in your sexual relationship. For starters, you can check out these 5 sex positions:

1 The missionary. This is often the first pose that most couples start their sex lives with. Over time, you will graduate to other poses, but when you’re new to sex, the missionary works just fine. The man can rest on the woman while he enters her and thrusts, and she only has to lie back and enjoy it. It’s called a ‘boring’ pose by many couples, but it’s great to begin with.

2 The relaxed doggy pose. You might have heard of the popular doggy pose, but there’s one thing to be said about it – it makes for rough sex. Besides, the woman has no control over the depth of penetration and she cannot touch and caress the man at all. If you want a friendlier variation of this pose, try the relaxed or modified doggy, in which the man enters the woman from behind but also lies down on her. This gives more skin on skin contact.

3 The butterfly. This is a good sex position for men who are new to sexual intercourse and are still finding their way about the female body. In this pose, the woman lies down on her back, legs resting against the man’s body. The man stands up in front of her, facing her so that his penis can enter the woman easily. It helps if the woman is flexible and able to hold the pose for long. You can get a better angle of penetration by placing a pillow under the woman’s hips.

4 The reclining woman on top. In this sex position, the woman does not sit bolt upright on the man’s body while she straddles him. Instead, she allows the penis to enter her and then gradually lies down on him, breasts touching his torso or chest. This pose allows the man to play with the woman’s shoulders and breasts, and the thrusting can be sweet and gentle.

5 The seated chair. This is an easy sex position that offers both partners the chance to look deeply into each other’s eyes as they join together, seated facing each other in the same chair. The woman sits on the man’s lap, and this pose allows the couple to lock eyes or hold each other while having sex. 

Are you wearing your condom properly?

An incorrectly worn condom can tear or burst during sex, causing many problems later on. We compile an easy guide on wearing the condom correctly.

Sometimes, all you want to do is grab your partner and get on with it right there on the kitchen table. Or you wake up completely aroused in the middle of the night, wanting to have sex. While it’s great to be spontaneous, it does not do to forget one basic factor in lovemaking: wearing a condom.

You might even have a condom handy, but you’re not sure if you’re wearing it right. An ill-fitting condom will always feel either too tight or too loose, so stop right there if the condom doesn’t fit, because it will most certainly cause problems during sex. Then you’re wondering if the condom is torn or not. Basically, you’re not sure if your condom wearing technique is right.

Take a look at these steps outlining how to use a condom:

Handle with care. You might be in a hurry to open the condom packet and get it on, but this haste can result in tearing of the condom. By now, you’ve heard umpteen stories of what happens when you have sex with a torn condom, so be careful. Hold the packet with two fingers and open it gently with the other hand. Don’t pull the condom roughly, or you will tear it.

Unroll it a little, right side up. Hold the condom by the base – this is where the plastic ring is. Now unroll the condom slightly, with gentle fingers. Don’t open it all the way, or you won’t be able to put it on properly.

Get the air out. Now that your penis is erect, place the condom on it. Hold the ring with one hand, and squeeze the tip of the condom with the other. This gets the excess air out of the condom, or the condom will burst during use. That’s painful and counterproductive.

Roll, use. Roll the condom over your erect penis gently, till it unrolls all the way. If the condom is the right size, it will fit snugly like a glove, instead of being too tight or sliding around on your penis. Once the condom is securely in place, you can get on with sex.

Throw away carefully. After use, hold the base of the condom and gently disengage your penis from it. Hold the condom upright and knot it carefully with the other hand, so that you don’t spill its contents everywhere. Dispose of safely in the trash. Do not keep the same condom on if you want to have sex again in the same session. Condoms are designed for just a single use, so throw away the first one and reach for a fresh one the second time around.